Once every while...

Once every while do you feel that your sick of everything? Well, today its that day for me.
Those thoughts are coming back again....about suicide, unwanted and loneliness.....is unbearable.
The thoughts of what meaning of life really is? I started to think too much when i'm alone for a long time. Happens often recently. I'm happy in the outside but in the inside..i'm struggling with myself.
Looks can be deceiving huh? Tears started overflowing from my eyes as the thoughts consume me.
When I get to noe about the life of everyone i knew, i see that they are moving on whereas i'm still stuck with the feeling of being left behind. That feeling is really a burden, i cant stand it.
The truth is i'm jealous with the life's of people around me, make me sick of myself and makes everything just plain sick. A sight for sore eyes, a sound for sore ears, a voice for sore throat and a mind thats fuggin in chaos being filled with nothing but these empty thoughts. At the moment rite now, i hate everything....and i mean everything.

Wht an emo bastard u guys tink huh? I'm juz writing what do i feel now. I dont care bout your comments anyways. Like god's gives a damn. I dont need to be pitied, I juz wanted to be a part in someone's life as it has a proof of existence of mine. It makes me feel as if i have a reason to go on. I dont have any reason to go on to begin with....what a sad creature i am. I forgot when does these thoughts started poping up, it just did. Its hard to use words to describe my state now...i'll juz end my bitching now.

Dont worry bout me though, when it type like this I felt much better for myself. I hope i can get back to my usual self in a few more days. No worries!! Yeah!! I can do it!!!!!!!!!! =D